I decided to become a teacher for one reason: to make a difference in someones life. I haven't been teaching as long as some teachers, but I have been teaching long enough to know and understand that I am one of the few constants in many of my students' lives. It's a sad realization, but one that has encouraged me even more to be the person that helps my students in any struggle or situation that they come to me with. Through the years, I have helped my students get into college, bring up their GPA's, become more involved in school activities, be more respectful to others and learn to enjoy learning. Yet, what many people don't see that teachers do is also help students on a personal level. This factor is one that I take to heart. I have guided my students in struggles of death, racism, prejudice against them because of homosexuality, thoughts suicide, abuse, neglect, feeling like they are loved and most importantly by reminding them that they are capable of anything. These personal issues are things that my husband always tells me that I put too much of my heart into, but isn't that how it is suppose to be with any teacher. Otherwise, why do we teach?
To some of you what I am saying may seem repetitive of what I usually say when it comes to teaching. However, today is different in the fact that for the first time I have someone that is trying to take my passion away from me. All year I have been dealing with someone that I feel has been trying to undermine me as a teacher, degrade my professional name, and keep me from making the difference I want to make. Regardless of her approach towards me, I have continued to make every effort to help her child and those around her. I have "killed her with kindness", "turned the other cheek" and "been the bigger person". Yet, it has only led me to today. Where she has finally tried to take my job, my dream, away from me. Now, I have to go through a process of protecting my professional name and guarding myself. All day, I have questioned if I have crossed any lines by helping an eighteen year old young man who has been tossed to the side and abandoned. I stepped in to help him and now that has been turned against me, not by him, or even his own parent, but by the same person who has tried to hurt me for the past year.
All day I felt betrayed and hurt. Even now as I write this I feel like I have been turned into someone that I'm not. Yet, if put in the same situation, in my heart I would do it again. I would let him know that I would help him and be there, that I support who he is and I would help him get into college. The sad thing is that I am doing the things that others should be doing, such as family. So, if I didn't help him then what? Leave him feeling even more alone which could possibly lead to worse scenarios?
It just all doesn't make sense to me. I know I am a good person with a big heart. I know that I have done the right things and been the teacher I have thrived to become. Yet, still there is ignorance bestowed upon me through a person that couldn't get her way and has decided to find other ways to hurt me. She has lied and caused issues all to hurt me. Why would someone do that? Why would you try to take away the one thing that one person has always dreamt of doing? Why would you try to take someone with a kind and loving heart and break them? Plus, what can I do except have to continue to defend myself, who I am, what I believe and everything that a teacher should stand for?
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